The clash of civilisations

I guess you could say we had a traditional Chinese New Year 'Lo Hei' this year. Except that where we didn't have shredded carrots we substituted with organic wild rocket salad. And where we didn't have a table or big dish we used aluminium foil and laid back copies of The Guardian on the floor. Each of us took it in turn to throw in the cinnamon powder, melon sugar, plum sauce, ginger in varying shades of worryingly lurid dayglo colours, pepper, sesame seeds (there's always too much of this), and 'golden coins' (there's never quite enough of this). Where some of us wished for world peace and an end to global warming, others - and I'm not saying who - cast their vote in favour of clear skin and obedient children. Saffron, meanwhile, was happy to chant 'Gong Xi Fa(i) Cai' and pick out all the smoked salmon. We liked it so much we 'Lo Hei'-ed three times in all.