Here's what I found

July 2007 Here's what I stumbled across in the office one day as I was flipping through my notebook trying to retrieve some facts and figures. Sandwiched between my hurriedly scribbled notes on preferential tax regimes and French automotive outsourcing, I found Saffron's drawing of someone with a dog on a leash. How or when she got her hands on my notebook I can't honestly recall, but coming across the lovely little picture most unexpectedly was surely one of the sweetest moments I've ever had. Reminded me, right in the midst of all the frenzy and fancy-pants emails and meetings, of the reason why I do anything at all. And of what matters most. Of course, had the drawing been discovered on my notes rather then between my notes, I might have had an entirely different epiphany altogether. Quite possibly something involving the naughty step, a long talk and the breaking of pencils.

Majulah Singapura

18 August 2007 Loyal patriots that we are, we jumped at the chance to while away a lovely Saturday afternoon celebrating Singapore's 42nd birthday. What better way than to spend it in the company of a hundred other fellow Singaporeans, herded onto a boat, all wearing red and/or white, sipping wine and scoffing curry puffs, cruising our way up and down the Thames, to the strains of a live jazz band amidst a smattering of Singlish all around?

Having stolen the show at last year's National Day funfair in London by singing solo in front ot hundreds of guests, Saffron had set for herself a tough act to follow. With some forward planning, I thought that I could teach her the national anthem in the event that she would be called upon to sing. However, my attempts were rejected with a dismissive "I will sing Rule Britannia, Mummy."

Armed with our door gifts of the actual goody bags given out at this year's National Day parade at Marina, we ensconced ourselves comfortably at the table nearest the buffet table. (We were celebrating the spirit of being Singaporean, after all!) Saffron promptly raided the bags with Aunty Debbi, set up the Singapore flags at our table, and proceeded to plaster herself and everyone else around her with 'Made in Singapore' tattoos. I, meanwhile, was getting ever so slightly stressed out by the amount of battery-operated, flashing, plastic tat that was potentially going to follow us home.

Halfway through the lunch, there was a Singapore quiz during which our decision on where to sit was vindicated. The MC asked questions relating to Singapore and anyone who knew the answer had to run up to him. Handy then that he was standing right in front of us, and even handier that 80 percent of the other passengers were all separated from us by a treacherous staircase. It was our lucky day. Aunty Debbi won a prize early on for shouting out "New Asia Bar" to "Where in Singapore is the highest point where you can have a drink in a bar?". We had to do all we could to restrain her from running up with the answers to the other questions that followed.

Saffron's moment of glory came when there was a question for 'under-12s' (the cruise was only officially opened to children above 5. It pays to work in the same office as party organisers, that's all I can say...).

"Name 3 places in Singapore where you can find animals."

Dragging me along with her to the colourfully-vested host, Saffron offered this answer into the microphone, "My por-por's house, the farm and the zoo."

It's a pity no one really got to hear the "farm and the zoo" bit of her answer, for as soon as she had said "My por-por's house...", the entire boat went "Awww...". She could have ended with "a vegetarian restaurant and Parliament House" and it wouldn't have made any damn difference. I don't think that was the answer my Singapore Tourism Board colleagues had in mind, but needless to say, she walked away proudly with the prize. You see her here eagerly opening her well-deserved gift.

All in all, we had a nice time on the cruise. Of course it would have been better had I won the first prize of a return ticket to Singapore courtesy of Singapore Airlines, but hey, at least I made away with some KFC Moist Towelettes, a hand-held fan complete with batteries and a book of vouchers for VivoCity. Woo hoo.

Eat my dirt, Pablo

5 August 2007 Saffron's illustration of a mermaid (which if you think bears passing resemblance to a molar with hair, you're not alone there), but which I rather like anyway and has pride of place on my desk at work.

My colleague

13 August 2007 No, you didn't read the date wrong. These pictures were indeed taken a few hours ago. Some luckier aunties have already had a sneak preview. (I'm not naming names.)

Aunty Myrna took ill quite unexpectedly over the weekend and wasn't quite ready to leave her room this morning, and therefore was in no state to look after Saffron earlier today. The result of which was my being housebound, having to work from home, and my reluctant re-acquaintance with the ancient art form of housework. I exaggerate; it was more along the lines of microwaving milk and mixing weetabix with strawberries for Saffron's breakfast. But there were still quite a few dishes to wash because even though I briefly flirted with the idea of eating off leftover disposable partyware, my inner snob wouldn't let me and I was forced to remember how much I really hate drying dishes (not nearly as much as I really hate the sight of dishes drying).

When I wasn't bent over at the kitchen sink scrubbing (dried weetabix is a right pain, along with dried pasta sauce and dried egg yolk), and dreaming of throwing it all in and being a Slummy Mummy, I was working at the dining table, occasionally distracted by my 'colleague', pictured here in her leotard.

Saffron was kept fully occupied by a most fascinating and clever activity book, like a colouring book, only each page has different instructions to, for example, draw in missing teeth to unfinished illustrations, or to fill a field with flowers. With each page completed, Saffron would ask me to read her the instructions for the next. I tried to sneak in a 'Kiss your mother 27 times' between 'Draw them some clothes' and 'Fill their teeth with cavities', but she was too sharp to fall for it. She may not be able to read yet, but she's got pretty good intuition and seems to be able to sniff out tricks and tales*.

Anyway, the reason my 'colleague' is in a leotard, is because the moment she hears Madonna's 'Sorry', she always feels compelled to change into her leotard a la Madonna, and do her dance. In fact, there's a bootleg video of Saffron dancing like Madonna in the 'Sorry' video lurking somewhere in someone's camera. So today, when it came on, she leapt out of her seat and dashed madly up the stairs only to reappear shaking and spinning in her little 'donald' (as in 'Madonnald') outfit.


This second picture here is of a page where she was supposed to draw people looking out the windows. When I pointed out to her that usually, you can only partially see a person's body through the window, whereas her little figure was of the entire body, floating in the window, without so much as batting an eyelid, she clarified, "That's because it's a baby, jumping in the air because he's on a trampoline." You can't really argue with logic like that, can you? After which she promptly proceeded to draw the baby's mother looking out the bottom window.

There was also another page where there were two sulking cartoon figures on opposite ends of the spread, separated by a sea, the instructions to which was to draw a bridge. When I took a look at what she'd done, there was no bridge in sight. Instead, there was a floating red figure of a girl hovering horizontally above the sea, which I was promptly told was Super Saffron (can you tell we've been watching Heroes rather religiously in this household?), who was going to bring them together. Upon my closer inspection, I also saw that she had taken a red marker to the sulks on the cartoons' faces and turned them back into smiles. Awww...

*Not all of them, though. My favourite ruse - and it still works for now - is when she agrees to exchange a set number of kisses, say 10, in return for something, and I am the appointed Kiss Counter. 1, 2, 3, 3, 4, 5, 6, 6, 5, 5, 6, 7, 8, 8, 9, 10. That always works. Or maybe she's just humouring me.

Lazy summer days

21 September 2006 All in a day's work.

Recycling

21 September 2006 Grinning after off-loading all our stale bread and overripe raspberries to the ducks in the Serpentine.

The Last Supper

12 August 2006 With only moments to go before we have to board our flight back to Old Blighty, Saffron manages to squeeze in a quick visit to the Prata place near Botanic Gardens.

I'm a celebrity, get me out of here

6 August 2006 Don't tell anyone, but we succumbed and ate at the Takashimaya food court. I know it's incredulous on two levels; that we even managed to get a seat in the first place (between the botoxed Indonesian aunties and LV-toting tai tais), and secondly, everyone knows no real Singaporean eats at the Takashimaya foodcourt. But before you revoke my citizenship and delete my SingPass account, in mitigation, we would like to plead that (1) Crystal Jade was closed for renovations; (2) we are semi-tourists after all; and (3) you try ticking off 47 different local dishes over the span of 7 days ( or 21 mealtimes). Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Chip off the not-so-old block

5 August 2006 Having completed her Grand Tour of the wet market, Saffron strikes a pose with her Por Por.

11 August 2006

The very last of our Bali pictures. We'd love to post more but most of our photographs from that holiday seem to have gone on a walkabout. We've turned the house upside down and inside out. Twice over. But we still can't find them. A handsome reward awaits anyone who solves the Mystery of the Missing Pictures.

11 August 2006

Backpacker Hell

10 August 2006 Having decided to try a new beach each day, we finally found ourselves at Kuta, surrounded by Australian backpackers, fleeced by a wrinkled old granny whose gummy smile charmed me into parting with a handsome sum for a juicy mango (let's just say it would have been cheaper at Waitrose), and more Hard Rock Cafe Bali souvenirs than we care to remember.

Making a splash

Entourage

Impressed by how long Saffron was able to sit still for, and how co-operative she was, we made a mental note to add 'Hairbraiding' to our growing catalogue of parenting techniques.


Spot the yellow beads. Some of you may remember that Saffron was going through her 'Yellow is my favourite colour' phase then.

Voila! I know it looks like we were there all day, but really in the end we drew the line at four braids...

Proud (and well fed) mother

It takes a village

9 August 2006 We were happily minding our own business, getting some coconuts for our parched throats, when we were ambushed by what must have been the entire female population of the town, purveying manicures, pedicures, massages and whatnots. Shrewd business entrepreneurs that they were, when they realised that they were not about to get any business out of myself (only Nail Studio for me when I'm in Asia, thank you very much) or James (they didn't have the right shade of rouge noir), they suggested, "Hair braiding, m'am, for your daughter?" To which my nonchalant reply was, "No, thank you, she won't be able to sit still for long enough." At which point Saffron made her presence felt and exclaimed, "But I can!" And before you could say 'Su-har-to' (or 'Yudhoyono', depending on your political inclinations), my daughter was whisked quickly away by a gaggle of excited aunties feeling up her hair. As we watched nervously from the sidelines (somewhat distracted by our freshly grilled corn-on-the-cob), Saffron's initial anxiety was quickly replaced by a sense of importance as she basked in the attention of her entourage. So this is what it feels like to be J-Lo...

9 August 2006

Clearly not the occasion for a Knock, Knock joke.

Saffron happily negotiating the treacherous walk into our villa.

Lost in their own world, father and daughter wage hydro warfare against unsuspecting trespassing insects.

Showgirl

9 August 2006 Stopping between bites of her breakfast croissant, our intrepid performer takes to the stage for an impromptu rendition of 'Castle on a Cloud', picked up in snatches on long car rides between Balinese beaches.

It was an itsybitsyteenyweeny navy polkadot bikini

8 August 2006 Testing the waters

Retail therapy

8 August 2006 Saffron's Pavlovian response as she intuitively recognises the enormous retail opportunities that await her: dilated eyes, quickened heartbeat, and coy smile in the direction of a wallet-bearing parent.

Dr Jekyll & Miss Hyde

8 August 2006 These pictures, snapped literally a minute apart, first shows a weeping Saffron having misbehaved and suffered the wrath of Mummy's Hand, then immediately turning to grin cheekily at the camera.