The stand in

Sing Elmo song?

I've been asked by Natalie to convey her appreciation to her legions of readers around the world. Sadly tonight the auteur is indisposed, and as the understudy I've been roped in to emote and share on her behalf. Just my cup of tea.

Perhaps one of the reasons for Natalie lurking and muttering in the shadows has something to do with Saffy's endearing requests to watch Sesame Street VCDs. All the time. Morning, noon and night. In fact life above Little Thailand has become a never-ending sensory bombardment of overly-chirpy glove puppets singing nursery rhymes and reciting letters of the alphabet. Whichever one of you is responsible for Elmo, Big Bird & Co. haunting my dreams is going to get a sound kicking if you ever show your face here again.

Note from editor: I wouldn’t quite mind if it were a selection of VCDs, but her fixation is in fact just with ONE VCD. If I have to listen to Elmo giggle one more time or watch an ethnically-balanced group of kids sing nursery rhymes off-key, I swear I'll jump over the moon or run away with the spoon.

The phone never stops ringing

You call this a garden?

Filet mignon, medium-well, please if you don't mind

Listening attentively to her options

I was going to tell you more about our weekend, but I was summoned by James to the bedroom, where Saffron just did a technicolour yawn. Well it wasn't exactly technicolour, more just pink, compliments of the watermelon juice she had with her dinner earlier. It's the second time she's done a merlion tonight so I think she's definitely coming down with something. Poor li'l mite. The lengths she'll go to to give me a valid and forgivable excuse for not blogging regularly...

Dressed to the nines (and that's just Teddy)

Which is Saffy and which is Teddy?

Taken over the weekend, en route to dinner. Saffy insisted that Teddy join us and made sure he was dressed for the occasion. We tried talking her out of adding the shoes, but she seemed aghast at the thought of Teddy going for a 'wander' without proper footwear. Whatever would Christopher Robbins say if he could see Teddy now?

We're still shaking the sand out of our shoes

Little mermaid

In a feeble attempt to pacify friends and family who have been coaxing / asking / pleading / whining / demanding / threatening for more pictures of Saffron, I relented and posted this picture today in between meetings at work. But you are clearly sharper than I give you credit for and several of you have pointed out - some more discreetly so than others - that this dated picture is from the same collection as the picture that precedes it. Snapped here moments before Saffron was dragged off by a sand-loathing mummy to the public shower to get the icky sand out from between her toes. She loved the waves and kept running fearlessly towards it, thereby forcing mummy - muttering under her breath - to run after her. Saffron refers to the sea as 'swimming pool', just as she refers to the river in the same fashion. In fact, earlier this evening, when she spilled cold water down the front of her t-shirt, she exclaimed 'swimming pool!' excitedly. How's that for lateral thinking? ; )

SS Destroyer

Saffron's eyes light up at the sight of another sandcastle to destroy

You'll never guess what we spotted on the beach...

The writing's in the sand

No prizes for guessing whose auntie is going to be the next Rem Koolhaas

Woo hoo! Does this mean i have to stop my barista/barrister joke?

Pleased as punch. And why not?

This weekend we celebrated Auntie Fiffy's first step towards becoming a world-famous architect. Pretty good going, bearing in mind that her entire junior college life was practically spent singing, dancing and acting. Well done, Auntie Fiffy, we're really proud of you! I just hope this doesn't mean we won't be seeing you for the next six to seven years.

We're really excited, not least because it now means she can help us with a few simple jobs around the house; adding an indoor garden with grecian columns topped by gargoyles, joined to the revolving kitchen by a glass-blocked walkway with 9 koi swimming underfoot, backlit by motion-activated neon lights. Oh, and perhaps a few simple turrets and spires in our balcony. Whoever said less is more clearly didn't have an architect for a blood relative.

Girls just wanna have fan*

Sweet and sour chicken, anyone?

Yesterday night, we treated ourselves to a slap-up chinese meal at Crystal Jade after a hard day's work spring cleaning. Saffron was happy with the selection and with some help from mummy ate two bowls of rice. Though a fair part of this was eaten when the waitress came to watch her in the high chair. Veteran performer that she is, Saffron obliged the eager audience by wolfing down as many spoonfuls of rice in as short a span of time as possible, eliciting 'oohs' and 'aahs' of approval from the restaurant staff. With their backs turned, she quickly reverted her attention to the 'baby ice' that Auntie Charie was patiently melting into bite-sizes for her. An over-sized ice-cube from mummy prompted a mumbled "Very big" from Saffron, her little cheek stretched to the shape of an ice cube.

*fan (pronounced 'fun' in Mandarin): Rice

Crisis management in full swing

'I'm sorry', says the guilt-stricken, angst-ridden Artist

In what appears to be damage control on the part of Saffron Smith's PR, they have been putting out several pictures of YKA* Smith in various apologetic poses. Here is one that was snapped soon after the horrific discovery this morning.

*YKA - Young Kissable Artist

The Artist pictured here in happier times

Newsflash: Galerie Minx Wrecked By Artistic Rage

Deconstruction reinterpreted

There's a fine line between creative exuberance and artistic rage. Which of the two states The Artist was in this morning when she ripped the seminal 'Bisou Bisou' from the gallery wall remains unclear. The discovery was made earlier today when the resident curator was tipped off by the uncharacteristic silence in the gallery. Pictured here is the scene that greeted her, though without the guilt-stricken Artist, who at the time this picture was taken, had been pulled aside for questioning.

Like the Lourve without the Mona Lisa, or Saatchi Gallery without animals in formaldyhede, Galerie Minx sans 'Bisou Bisou' seems somewhat incomplete. In an official statement issued by the gallery's press room, Chief Curator Madame N expressed the gallery's sense of loss but stressed the need to move forward. "We are all sad that 'Bisou Bisou' has been damaged, but we need to move on and look to the future. We are convening an Emergency Meeting for the gallery's Board of Directors . We are closed until further notice to contemplate the gallery's post-'Bisou Bisou' future." At the time of this interview going to press, the seminal artwork had been sent for professional restoration.

On a happier note, however, it appears The Artist has realised the error of her ways and has since tried to make reparations. As a result of which there is now a possible new addition to the gallery - albeit a line drawing on the newly upholstered daybed (Medium: Blue ink). However, given the size of the mattress, the new exhibit (Titled: Waking On a Fine Line) may have to remain housed in a separate wing.

When the cat's away

What do you mean Daddy's not here to take me for a wander?

Yesterday marked the start of our week-long girls-only Slumber Party. After picking Saffy up from school at seven - usually James' privilege - we headed home and got ready for a heady night out on the (1) town (2) tiles (3) sofa (delete as appropriate).

Answer: (3) It's not called a pyjama party for nothing, you know.
So for the next two hours we sat on the sofa scoffing down chicken and blueberries, watching two Animal Planet documentaries on Baboons and Orang Utans. Saffron particularly enjoyed watching baby monkeys in nappies drink out of milk bottles and was excitedly jumping up and down in front of the telly making simian gestures and noises. At some point there was a milk break, followed by her pleading for 'more, more medicine, mummy?' after she finished her dose for the day. During one of the ad breaks, we even put up the official Gallery Minx sign (spelt Galerie Minx due to a letter shortage).

We also put the washing out to dry; Saffron took the clothes out of the machine and carried them to the clotheshorse, handing the freshly laundered items to me one by one. It was a big load so she had to make a few trips. I suppose it must have exhausted her because soon after we were done she declared that it was finally time for bed and the party moved to the bedroom.

What's a party without party hats? We put nappies on each other's heads and were both pleasantly surprised at the results; Saffron had a good laugh when she saw herself in the mirror. But perhaps it wasn't that brilliant an idea after all because the night's festivities culminated in Saffron wetting the bed (my side of the bed, I hasten to add). Turning her nose up at the mess, and with a cursory and disapproving 'Yuck', she promptly moved herself to Daddy's side of the bed and got ready for beddy-byes. By which time the hats were off our heads, of course. We then sang a few rounds of 'Oh my coe-woe, oh my coe-woe'* before snuggling up for the night. With a special 'Night-night, Daddy', she was off to the Land of Nod, bringing Night One of the Slumber Party Festival to an official close.

*Oh my coe-woe, oh my coe-woe
oh my coe-woe, i love you
You are smelly, you are comfy
Oh my coe-woe, i love you'
(Sung to the tune of Oh My Darling Clementine)

You knocked?

A much younger Saffron

So this is what they mean by a low sugar diet

Saffy sharpening her sweet tooth

Above the noise

Spot the little tearaway

We always knew she was different from the rest. Here Saffron demonstrates how she plays by her own rules and dances to a different beat.

Back to School

Ring-a-Ring-a-Rosies

The muse turns artist

What is Truth?: Deconstruction of Playground Reflections

Featuring a select and never-before-seen collection of modern prints and collages using traditional techniques, the 'What is Truth: Deconstruction of Playground Reflections' exhibition opened to a full house this weekend at Gallery Minx. Select visitors were also treated to the unexpected re-enactment of the creation of the now-seminal 'Bisou Bisou' lip-print (pictured here, bottom row, first from left). The exhibition is expected to be permanent; new collections will be added at the end of each school term.

Gallery Minx
Beach Road, Singapore
By appointment only.

The Puppet Master

Saffron checking on blog hits and comments

Pictured here is Miss Saffron Smith, Creative Director, Little Minx Omnimedia Inc (not unlike Martha Stewart Omnimedia, just without the criminal record). On one of her regular blog inspections.

Disappointment with traffic volumes from the overseas chapters of the WLS Fan Club was tempered by a Pavlovian response to the picture of the Coe-Woe.

Hands off my horsey

Saffron keeps the other kids at bay

No prizes for guessing where this was taken. Paragon - it's one of the new additions to Saffron's vocabulary this weekend, along with delicious, driving, brown sauce and diaper (the last one added much to James' horror) [Yes, but she's known nappy for ages - Ed.].

Usually the instant we pop coins into the carousel, kids from within 50 feet radius of the machine ride descend upon us and clamber onto the other two spare horseys (provided Lala* the teletubby hasn't been allocated a horsey). Most of them do this unabashedly and without asking if it's alright, much to our chagrin. But this evening it was different. There were many other kids there loitering around, but surprisingly enough, when the music started playing on the carousel, no one actually hijacked the ride. Of course when we noticed Saffron's expression as she rode past us (see above), the penny dropped. Or as it was in this case, two S$1 coins.

* Actually, she's really Poe, but to us she's the 'pink lala'.

Beach baby part 2

You don't have to tell me i've been neglecting my blogging duties. If it's any consolation i've been making a laundry list of the new tricks that Saffron's been turning. I haven't seen her much this week and already she has added to her vocabulary and repertoire of songs . Yesterday was her 23rd month birthday. (Don't laugh; we used to celebrate every Thursday when she was a wee one) When we said "Saffy, it's your birthday today", she very excitedly requested for "Song happy day?" and promptly ran circles around the sofa with her arms outstretched behind her - as she does whenever she's very happy or excited - while James and I belted out "Happy Birthday" to her. At the end of which she said "Blow candle?" and sweet-naturedly humoured us by blowing out make-believe candles on a make-believe cake.

This picture of her was taken at the beach on Gong Gong's 57th birthday. It's definitely one of my favourite 23,456 pictures of her. Makes me want to run out and squeeze her. Which is exactly what I am going to do now ; )

Beach baby

Words fail me.

Domestic goddess-to-be

Sorry, i lied. I couldn't resist posting more pictures of the Little Minx. Here she is cooking up a storm whilst fully accessorised AND dancing AND striking a pose for the camera. Testament to the fact that girls are born natural parallel processors. P.s. Spot the potty. (Obviously toilet training isn't going quite as planned).

What have you done with Big Ears, Saffy?

This may look familiar to some of you in the WeLoveSaffron inner circle. It was snapped on the day that she got her hair cut short. It will have to suffice until i'm done with work - it's One of Those Days. (James - no comments from you on the Big Ears, thank you very much.)

The 'S' Factor

Who said swimcaps were naff? As you can tell, Saffron is really into accessorising. From hats to necklaces, hairclips to handbags. It all began with the now trademark colourful beaded necklace she received from Auntie Val on her first birthday (Refer to picture of necklace to the left of this post). She often remembers to put on a necklace before setting out for the day and many a weekday mornings have been spent negotiating with her to leave her necklace at home. (My fear of envious toddlers in school is not completely unfounded; on the one occasion that she did wear a necklace to school, some of them tried to pull it off her). Not one to forget about others, she has even taken to reminding me with a 'Where mummy's necklace?' when I'm getting ready for a day out.

This picture was taken when one morning she decided to wear a swimcap to school. Unaided, and with no prompting from me, I'm proud to add. I did help her with the matching bikini top over her yellow school tshirt pictured here, but just as the mark of a true style icon is in knowing when to stop, she asked for it to be removed before we set out for school.

When we arrived at school, Saffy was beaming with pride as she pointed to her swimcap and said 'Hat, hat' to her friends. I suppose her teachers must have also found it inspiring as they too took a snapshot and yesterday very kindly sent it to me (see post of picture below).

Prada may have her peacock-plumed hat, but I'm sure you will agree that it's Saffron's polyester swimcap look that is the very embodiment of style ; )

Little trendsetter

Good things come to those who wait

My well-placed sources have warned me that visitorship numbers to this blog are dwindling. Keeping readers in suspense is one thing, but to not say anything at all is quite another. I guess they have a point there. This and the threat of confirming anyone's suspicions that i am a bad mother (given the recent underground circulation of a Saffy voice recording which , funnily enough, has her enunciating what sound remarkably like swear words. Don't ask) have gone some way towards helping me overcome my writer's block.

So yesterday was Mother's Day. Or as James was teaching Saffy all day to say, Commercial Mother's Day (as opposed to Mothering Sunday which is celebrated in the UK, and which incidentally, I also had the fortune of celebrating). Saffron 'made' me a card with a purple paper rose attached. Though i suspect she may have had some help from her teachers in school; the cutout hearts are slighly beyond her at this point, much as we all know she's a clever sausage. She also gave me a handmade, ransom-note styled card signed off by her and Daddy (with cutouts of a pint glass) that was beautiful. To top it all off, when prompted by James to wish me 'Happy Commercial Mother's Day', she broke into song, raising her hands in the air, singing, 'Happy Mummy Mummy Mummy', to an unfamiliar tune. We were both surprised by her spontaneous rendition of what was obviously a tune they had been teaching her in school. I guess we won't be switching childcare centres for the time being. We braved the torrential downpour to have breakfast at the famous Red Star dimsum restaurant with Por Por, Uncle John, Uncle Ben and Aunties Charie and Fiffy. This was followed by a 'Special Mother's Day' photo session at Ralph Lauren, where we got to pose as a family with a giant bear. (Please don't judge us by this; we are not usually this cheesy). Funnily enough, when we got to the shop they promptly changed Saffron out of her turn-up jeans into a floral-print dress complete with peterpan collar. Saffron wasn't keen on co-operating until they trotted out the sugary gummi bears. After that she was all smiles. Meanwhile, all I could think about was hiding my horror at the e-numbers she was scoffing down and smiling for the camera, and Daddy was busy taking instructions from the cameraman on how to channel a 'Happy (Commercial) Mother's Day' look for the camera. I can't wait to see the pictures when they're ready in a week's time. If you're good, who knows, we may even put it up here.